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We lost a dear friend this week. He was in his 80s, a witty, energized and always ready for the next adventure type of person. But he gave up this month after a chain of health crises. He had been on dialysis for a year, then suffered a minor stroke, but the straw that broke the camel’s back was a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. I believe he wanted to pass on his own terms and stopped going to dialysis. He had run out of resilience during this difficult time.
Twenty years ago, I lost another friend. Again, she was an international trainer in psychosynthesis. She had phenomenal resilience, but she had been in a traffic accident that left her with only 15% mobility. After two years, when the people she loved most were not strong enough to support her, she too ran out of resilience. I was angry with her at the time. She had so much to give regardless of her disability, but she hated it. It took me a long time to forgive her. This week I finally see that I am more tolerant of the cumulative effect of crises that affect our decisions.
So far, I have been resilient through the most difficult challenge in my life – a landslide that destroyed our home. We had the courage to stand back up and declare to the Universe that we are survivors. We used the energy from our pain to reclaim our power and marshal through the experience, one tiny step at a time. Where did that strength, courage and resilience come from?
First and foremost, I believe it is supported by faith in a Higher Power – Source energy, Quantum Consciousness, God, all that is. When I came home the night of the landslide, I had a sense of a divine presence being with me, holding my hand. That sustained me.
And then there was my father. He has been gone for 40 years already, but my memories of the stories he told when I was a little girl provided a role model of how to be resilient and take corresponding actions. One of my favorite stories was one he shared about Christmas toy lines for poor children. My dad came from very humble origins. He was dirt poor, raised in East Texas. He described his home as a place you could see through the walls, not the windows, the walls. And he ate clabber, a Southern delicacy, Not. It is curdled milk, a yogurt like texture with a strong sour taste.
Each year at Christmas, the town held a toy giveaway. All the poor children could come, line up and receive a gift for the holiday. What stood out in my Dad’s story was that he analyzed how the line was managed. He observed that the organizers gave out one extra large present every so many people, like clockwork. He determined to work the system. He began to let people pass him in line so that he would reach the giveaway location exactly when the big present was to be given – and that is what he was given. Pretty ingenious for a young boy and an unforgettable example of creative thinking.
Whatever you are going through right now, you are stronger than you think. You can find your connection to the greatest help imaginable. You can dig down deep within yourself and find the resilience to keep moving forward. You can stand up and start putting one foot in front of the other. As the old Quaker saying goes, “Pray and move your feet.”
On Saturday, May 9th, 9:00am Pacific time, we are going to be looking at what we can do to adapt and thrive in what may be a “new” economy. Dr. Randall Bell is our guest during the Train Your Brain, Claim Your Power call. Dr. Bell is a sociologist and economist who specializes in helping governments, insurance companies and individuals mitigate the effects of disasters.
You are welcome to join the Zoom call or receive the replay. Register in advance for this meeting:
After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting. I look forward to sharing Dr. Bell’s thoughts on this crisis with you.
Be safe. Be well. Stay upbeat. We are all in this together and we will get through it.
I believe in you,